You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
