Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
