ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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