i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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