after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
