Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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