I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
