Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
