I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
