Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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