My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize