is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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