they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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