If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
