At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
