Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
