well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
