um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
