ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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