Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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