if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
