on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You have to summon your inner elephant
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
