were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
