I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
