Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
