thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
