i permit you to call me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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