Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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