My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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