Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
