You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize