i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
