yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Soap is not a condiment
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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