Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
