she woke up with a sticky ear
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
