Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
