The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I love you. Go after that dick
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize