Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
