Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize