weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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