just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
