theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
