Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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