I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
