I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
