Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
