So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
