Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
