i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
