i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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