just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
