I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
