I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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