I smell stomach acid.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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