Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
NoShamevember. You game?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
