okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
