You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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