is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
