Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
