So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize