I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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