i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
