Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
