We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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